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During most nites that I dream, I have very vivid, often lucid dreams, so it's usually easy to remember them for quite so time after I wake up (thus making this little blog possible).
This morning, however, I woke suddenly with an overwhelming sense of panic, and the feeling was so strong that i couldn't remember what I was dreaming about or why I was panicking. I felt very relaxed when I went to sleep last nite (a rare thing for me), and I'm pretty sure I had been dreaming before I woke up, but the shock of waking up totally panicked was so jarring and abrupt that it jettisoned all other thoughts and emotions from my brain.
I started to calm down for a bit when I realized that I didn't even know why I was panicking, but then I began to panic about the very same realization that was calming me down. Questions flooded my brain, each one focused on the unknown source of my panic: "What were you dreaming about?", "Did something happen to you in the dream?", "Did you do something to someone else in the dream?", "Did you do something to someone else in waking life that you'd forgotten/ignored/didn't realize until you were dreaming?", "Did you NOT do something that you should have done?", "Did you forgot to do something in your waking life until you remembered it your dream?", "What if you were panicked cuz you remembered something that you'd forgotten, and now you've forgotten it again?", "Will I ever remember why I was panicking?", "Will I panic again if I remember?", "Who, what, when, where, why, how?!?"
Getting these thoughts out of my head and onto this page is relieving some of the panic, but the nagging question remains, "Why am panicked?" I still don't know.