It's been a looooooooooooooooooooooong time since I've actually posted a DreamBlog and I've got a few minutes here at work so I figured I'd post one of my dreams from last night.

Remember: this is only a dream...

I'm pacing up and down the aisle of a bus. A family member is driving the bus and a friend is sitting near the back. Neither of my bus companions are actually real people from my waking life, and yet I recognize and understand my relation to them. They have no real identifiable facial or bodily features, yet somehow I just know that the driver is an older male family member (not a brother or a father, but something that immediate) and the other passenger is a close friend. I'm not really that confused by the fact that I know these people and yet I don't. It all just makes sense within the dream and I don't question it. I just keep pacing, looking out the windows.

The bus is traveling down a straight dirt road between a field of corn on the left side and a forest on the right.

I walk down the aisle to the front of the bus and place my hand upon the driver's shoulder and look out the windshield.

Up ahead, a giant black animal with a white stripe down its back comes sauntering out of the forest and stops at the edge of the road. As we get closer, I see that it looks like bear with a big bushy tail. Just as we are about to drive pass, the animal turns around and lifts its striped tail into the air.

SKUNK!!! I yell and dive to the floor, covering my face with my hands.

I can feel the bus still moving forward and it sounds like a blast from a firehose is straifing the side of the bus. An putrid smell washes over me.

I feel a hand on my shoulder so I open my eyes to see my friend kneeling next to me. He has no mouth or eyes, but somehow I can tell that he's smiling. My friend helps me to my feet without saying a word and walks me toward the back of the bus. I look out the back window and see the bear-skunk crossing the road into the corn field.

I walk to the front of the bus. The driver somehow smiles through his faceless head.

Up ahead of the bus, a much smaller bear-skunk emerges out of the forest. The skunk repeats the same motions as the bigger one, and I respond in the exact same way.

As I lie on the floor in a ball with my face covered. Even though the skunk is smaller and its liquid emission is audibly less than the first as it sprays the bus, the smell is much much worse.

Again I am brought to my feet by my friend and again I watch the skunk disappear into the corn field.

This cycle continues as a watch progressively smaller and yet smellier skunks emerge, spray the bus, and disappear.

The foul stench still lingered in my brain as I woke up just before the bus was sprayed by a teeny tiny bear-skunk.

Remember: this is only a dream...

I'm lying on my back on a skateboard in the middle of a park. I stare up at the clear blue sky. I cannot see anyone around me, but I know I'm surrounded by playing children as frisbees and kites crisscross the sky overhead.

I close my eyes and feel the warmth of the sun on my face. I can hear the children laughing.

A cool breeze stirs through the air around me and I hear a slight whirring.

A shadow moves across my face and the whirring grows louder. I try to open my eyes but the gentle breeze has turned into a downward gust that burns my eyes with a freezing chill.

I'm frozen still, pinned down by the force of the wind and my body is tense from the cold air.

The children's giggles are completely drowned out by the howling whir from above.

Suddenly I can see the scene from a 3rd-person POV: there I am, lying there on the skateboard, motionless with my eyes clenched tight, as a helicopter descends right on top of me.

When the helicopter is a few feet from touching down around me, it begins to shrink. It quickly reduces from a full-sized copter down to a tiny little toy that lands right on my forehead. Though its physical size has shrunk, the force from the wind generated by its propellers remains strong, and I am still unable to open my eyes.

From my disembodied 3rd-person POV, I watch as the helicopter's propellers begin to collapse in on themselves as they slowly stop spinning. When they come to a full stop, the four rotor blades divide and jut downward so the tips touch my forehead like eight legs and lift the body of the copter up. The fuselage quickly morphs into a round black mass dangling between the arched rotors.

The helicopter now looks like a headless mechanical spider.

My eyes still closed, I watch as the spider crawls from my forehead down to my mouth until its eight legs surround my lips. I purse my lips, but the spider puts two of its legs from opposite sides of its body into my mouth and begins to open my lips. It then puts two more legs into my mouth and pries my clenched teeth apart.

The spider begins to lower its body into my mouth.

I suddenly scream and sit up.

My eyes are now open, but I still watch it all from the sidelines.

The spider dangles from mouth. Two legs are still wedged between my teeth, prying my jaw open, but the other legs are waving and clawing frantically, trying to get a footing on my face.

Suddenly I'm staring down my throat.

I'M THE SPIDER I think and instantly my POV shifts yet again, back to my own POV, my own eyes.

I can't see the spider, but I can feel it on my face. Deep inside my ears I can hear a creeking noise as my jaw is being stretched beyond its limit.

A sharp pain shoots through my tongue and I start to gag.
***
Then I woke up only to discover I'd bitten my fucking tongue in my sleep.

In my dream, i'm some independent live-action film director who's finally had a breakthru movie that's gotten me enough praise to fund a semi-big-budget film about a small midwestern town that gets flooded.

I'm sitting atop a large camera crane ready to direct a climactic tear-jerking scene where the endearing old man, who said he'd stay with his house til the bitter end, is lying on his back on the roof of his house delivering his final lines as the muddy floodwaters rise up over his quivering lips.

It's an expensive and dangerous shot so i want to get it right the first time. I've already rehearsed the scene extensively with the actor playing the old man. The actor is kind of a cross between M. Emmet Walsh and Sydney Greenstreet. There are divers and safety personnel in the water as we prepare to shoot the scene.

I call "ACTION" and the scene begins. The actor delivers a heart-wrenching performance that has the whole crew in tears as his face is submerged in the flood water, which is carefully controlled by the special effects team.

Just as I yell "CUT", there's a violent and enormous spray of bloody water where the actor's face had been blowing bubbles only moments before. This is not in the script. Some crew member yells "ALLIGATOR!!!" and my otherwise pleasant dream suddenly turns into a nightmare.

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My dog Chico died over a year ago, but he still pops up in my dreams sometimes. Last nite i had a dream where Chico keeps falling apart, literally. Each time i turn around, part of his body has broken off. And it's not like he breaking into little pieces. He breaks in the same two spots: at the hip & at the shoulders. So when Chico falls apart completely, he's in three pieces: his head, his torso and his hind legs. The breaks are clean and almost surgical. It's as if his spine just detaches at the neck and above his pelvis. And each part is still alive and kicking even after being spontaneously dismembered. Sometimes only his hind legs falls off so his head would bark as his front legs drag his torso around. Other times just his head comes off so his body runs around haphazardly. The really weird thing is when his front legs and torso fall off, but somehow his head attaches to his hind legs so he runs around like an ostrich with a very short neck. He never seems to be in pain or even inconvenienced when he falls apart. He just goes about doing his thing (running around basically) until i manage to find all his pieces and put him back together, which i do repeatedly and nonchalantly throughout my dream.

I have been robbed TWICE at gun point while working latenite at Trader Joe's in real-life, so it's no surprise that i have very vivid dreams about robberies. Last nite i had dream involving a bank robbery.

I don't remember what happened in the dream before this, but for some reason i needed cash, so i go to an ATM. I put in my card but the machine spits it back out. When I try to grab my card, the ATM sucks it back in and gives me an error (real-life: an ATM ate my card once for no reason, and then last nite, a parking garage ticket did this exact same thing for real).

So i go into the bank, and all the employees are people i knew from elementary school, except for the manager, who is one of my current professors at UCLA. I tell the manager what happened to my card and she suggests that i use my credit card if i still needed cash. I say that is a bad idea cuz CC companies charge such high interest on cash advances, but she explains that, "as the head of a financial institution" she knows tricks around CC fees. So she takes my credit card, uses scissors to cut out a tiny square from the card, and she melts the piece of plastic in one of those candle-heated potpourri crucibles. Then she hands me a receipt to sign for a CC charge of $8.88.

That's when some guy's voice from the front of the bank yells out "I've got a bomb and we're all gonna die!"

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